more than words

2010-05-11T20:16:00.001-07:00

Hospital doors and meds aren't unfamiliar to a girl like me. I am always surrounded and influenced by anyone or anything that deals with the medical field. Ever since I was young I remember always waiting anxiously for my mother to get out of the surgery room. I was taught to give her medicine because of her kidney problems she had all her life. I was taught paitence and carefulness when my mother's health problems got worst. When it came to giving out Tylenols, temperatures, and blankets I was the one to nurse who was sick in the household. I even helped my sister give birth in the delivery room at tripler and stayed over at the hospital for over a week to help her recover from an infection. Even as I get older I still learn more and I am influenced by the field. I proudly watch my brohter, a medic in the army to go to school to become a medical practicioner. I watched my sister who tried the profession of the medical field. I watch my relatives as they move to foreign countries like Dubai and Singapore to treat the ill and I start to meet people that are high ranks and are respected in the profession. Even though it may sound weird I feel that the medical field is my passion in life. When I grow up I would like to be a head registered nurse or a doctor's practicioner and when I am at a successful point I would like to travel to 3rd world countries and help impoverished familes with free medicare.

Dr. Elizaga, a doctor of internal medicine came from a humble home in the Philippines came to America by passing a difficult board exam, which led him to the practice of medicine in Baltimore and led him to his office in Hawaii. "As a doctor of hospitals and medicine I am the one to help cure patients and prescribe the right type of medicine for them. To become a doctor is no easy work. Its a long process of schooling: 4 years undergraduate, 4 years of med school, and 3-5 years of specialty training. There were times when I wanted to give up. Not getting to go out with friends and party, I was doing my homework during the weekends and plus the work was hard and fustrating. But it's worth it because you get the heart warming feeling when you know you helped a patient. It's the best and noble profession out there. Even if your not a doctor, the medical field is the best profession out there. What kind of profession gives you the power of saving or helping someone's life?". My brother Edward Reyes is a medic in the army and helps people in a immediate, "first responder" way. "I am a medic in the army rank of E-6. I am assigned to train people who are about to be deployed in Irag, Kuwait etc to be their own combat life saver. By means, if they are injured and there are no signs of help for them they can help and nurse there own selves till help is on the way. I also do their checkups to make sure there ready for war. I am also assigned to work at Queens and Tripler Hospital as a medical specialist. To get this job offer I had to take 3-6 months of EMT schooling and army training in Texas for a year. What I like about the medical field is that I get to work with many different fields of career oriented people. And the fact that I am making a person's life better and giving them a second chance at life makes me feel better about myself. Darwin, a doctor's practiconer travels to 3rd world countries like Taiwan and the Philippines to help nurse sick children and parents in rural areas. "I am like the doctor's manager but a nurses's boss. I am told what to do but advise the ones below me. Since my doctor works around certain countries I get to do the same and travel to places like the Philippines to help with sick people who cannot afford medicare. It's a wonderful and heartfelt expierence. The schooling was hard: 2 years of undergraduate, 2 years nursing program and another 2 years of specialty training but it's all worth it at the end.

I liked seeing all the perspectives of all the types of medical workers: Doctors, medics, and practiconers. They all had to go through the same struggle of being what they wanted but in a matter of different types of schooling or years. Some went to school for over 12 years and some went to school in a rush because of its qualification for the job. The medical field does have its "dissapointing" and "real world" side. There are a lot of pains, impatience, and struggles when your part of the medical field. "My kids didn't even want to be a doctor because of the stress they know I faced. Like thinking about a patient all the time or what is right for the person and hoping all goes well"- Dr. Elizaga. "Theres the ugly side too. Like cleaning up after a patient for example: a 300 pound patient. Or seeing a dead body, or ill and injured people coming back from Iraq. It hurts but you need to be strong and face it. It's the medical field.

But I think i'm ready for the pain, struggle, and schooling because the medical field is something I want to be part of. I want to be able to make a difference in someone's life, small or big. I feel that if its something you really want and you know you have the feeling and capability of doing it will go through.

2010-05-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

Journal 1: Learning and Research Process

2010-04-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

My passion: I feel that my passion is the medical field and someday working for it and being part of it. I have had a handful of expierences of being at the hospital, meeting people who are part of the medical field, and taking care of my mother who is ill and has a panic disorder. I am also known in my family for always taking care of people when they are sick and I am usually the one who help gives my mother her medication. This passion came to me when I had to help my sister at the hospital when she had an infection while giving birth. I remember witnessing her give birth and watching as many nurses and doctors pass by to help her. I remember when i would remember all the medication given to her, when the nurses would come to do their daily check up, and when my sister's medication was given out. Helping my mother out was also another reason why I wanted to be part of the medical field. My mother has a panic disorder and she always had a problem with her kidney. I remember since I was 3 my mother was always in and out of the hospital.

What rescources will you use for your learning?
My brother Edward is a medic in the amry with a rank of E7. he can help me get a tour of Tripler hospital and let me meet some of his other medic friends. I can ask my doctor, Dr. Jacang who is iwlling to anwser any questions I have. I can ask Dr. Elizaga who I will be interning for in August doing clinical work. I can ask my older sister's friend who is a nurse who travels all over Asia such as Taiwan and the Philippines to help others in need in developing countries.

What questions do you want awnsers in your research and learning?
I would like to know the college and highschool requirements to become a nurse or doctor. I would like to know these people's past expierences and why they wanted to be part of the medical field.

How will you take action on your passion?
I think I already did. But as of right now and the future I will continue helping my mother, and since i dont have a job at the doctor's office till August I will make appoitments with other hospitals so I can do community service and volunteer to help with other paitents.

Journal #32

2010-03-31T13:53:00.001-07:00

Describe a memorable learning expierence?
The Sweet 16 competition for the STN convention at Anahiem California was truly a memorable learning expierence. The sweet 16 was a competition where broadcast journalism students from all over the US had to create a package using a word from the 16 words given to us. We had 16 minuites to pick the word and we had 16 hours to create a package. It felt like the iniation to being a broadcast journalism and it was super intense! Being around students who were doing the same thing you were doing!! Even though it was my first year I learned a lot from making a really good pacakge among all the pressure my group and I were facing.

Ideal school?

My ideal school would be a school that took out all the subjects or classes we do not need. A school where we learn what we really need to use in life. I would want a school where for some students who know what they want to do when they grow up can pick courses that will help them prepare for the career they want. Or maybe they could have programs like how menemac does but for like people who want to be in the nursing or business program. I would learn the best if I was learning whatnI really needed to learn and to not be rushed by teachers! To be given time to do the work in class and not be shame to ask for help cause I might sound stupid

Journal #31

2010-03-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

My passion is writing. I feel that my passion is writing because I am actually good at it and its an alternative to expressing how i feel and giving me good grades at school. I absolutely love to write: When it comes to poems, quotes, venting on my tumblr as well. I also like finding out others people's writing as well like on tumblr so I can excel in my writing skills. Writing soothes the pain and makes everything feel better for me. Sometimes when writing a vent or piece to myself or on tumblr it acutally sounds good and interesting.

I believe essay draft

2010-03-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

High school; Where education is priority, freinds are made, and where life lessons are gone through, taught, and learned. High school is pretty much life. High school teaches everything you need to know in life when it comes to passing classes, finding a job, or being a good friend and student. I believe in high school and the traditional American school system; 5 days of school in a week and 4 years of high school that includes freshmen, sophomore, junior, and senior years. I am happy about the free education America has given to its potential world leaders (students). Students in America can go to school for free and absorb all the things we need in order to succeed in life. But controversy over new school policies in Hawaii will make me appreciate school so much more.

"Its Furlough Fridays at Moanalua High school Now." Is what I kept hearing at school around the begining of last year October. It was actually Furlough Friday for all public schools in the state of Hawaii and it would be going into effect at the end of October. Hawaii's government had cut off one day of school to help with budgets for the economy. That would not mean not having school on Friday for certain weeks of the year. That would mean a student's day at school cut off, a student's learning and education as well. But there's more than that. Hawaii is also thinking about having 3 years of high school and cutting out our senior year. Horrible isn't? We already have one day less of school on certain weeks then your going to cut off another year as well? Where will all the learning go? Where will all the education go if you cut off even more?

I believe in high school; I believe in a failing grade but improvement. I believe in taking tests, raising your hand in class to anwser a quedtion. I believe in high school events; Going to home coming games on Fridays, dances, winter fans, and the famous junior and senior proms. I believe that students are the up most potential leaders of the earth. I see us as rocket scientists, lawyers, ministers, business people, entreprenuers, singers, actos, and models. I see us making a change in life. I see us finding a cure for cancer, saving earth from global warming, and finding peace in the Middle East and giving help in developing countries. But cutting opff more time in school won't let us achieve these wonderful dreams.

journal #30 brainstorming

2010-02-24T12:49:00.000-08:00

I would like to do my essay on my Flipino Culture. We believe in hardwork and determination and I can base my story on when I went to the Philippines in the summer of 08

Final Graphic & Allusive Poem: They way of Hua Mulan

2010-02-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

The Way of Ha Mulan

No cherry blossoms fall below

It's been years since I've seen them bloom

Light skinned, petite, small brown eyes

a mind so broad, a heart so big

she catches the eyes

she brings in life

she is followed by trouble

Quiet, no sound, no words

Wants to break free from these chains

this small town scene of a world

A rebelling soul

A troubled spirit

a failure to my traditonal bound family

a radical for my beliefs

alone, hurt, and confused

But for I am never disheartened

There has to be a way

to break free from this complicated life

this is my fight, my war to show my true self

The sword reflects my problems

Courage and bravery asre my weapons

Me heart is my bestfriend

For they are the only things I need to win this

painful struggle

As cherry blossoms fall down below

I bow down to the ones who have doubted me

my battle has be fought, my was has been won

I am no longer a troubled, lost, empty sould

I finally can be myself

no pain, no sorrow

Allusive Poem and Graphic

2010-02-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Poem: Teenage Warrior

no cherry blossoms fall below me

its been a year since ive seen then bloom

a rebelling soul

a failure to my traditonal bound family

a radical for my beliefts

alone, hurt, confused

but for i am never disheartened

because there has to be a way

there has to be a fight to break free from this complex life

this is my fight, a war to show my true self

the sword reflects my problems

courage and bravery are my weapons

my heart is my bestfriend

for they are the only things i need to win this painful struggle

As cherry blossoms fall below me

I bow down to the ones who have doubted me

my battle has been fought, my was has been won

i am no longer a radical, or a lost, troubled sould

i finally am myself

no confusion, hurt, or pain

Allsuion poem draft: I am Mulan

2010-02-11T12:28:00.001-08:00

Brainstorming for ALLUSION

2010-02-07T00:10:00.001-08:00

Goddesses and Gods I picked as potentials:
Eos- goddess of Dawn
aphrodite- goddess of Love
Nyx- Godess of Night
Eris- Godess of Confusion
Athena- Goddess of War

journal #20: Pro/con fireworks

2010-01-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

Fireworks: A long time tradition soon to be burnt out?

There is a dilemma with the use of fireworks in Hawaii! Should it be banned from being used in Hawaii because of the health and safety hazards it risks? Or should this long time tradition continue?

CON: Fireworks cause health risks and safety hazards. Fireworks may be a tradition but a dangerous and unfriendly one. There can be other safe and better ways to bring in the New Year instead of burning fireworks. Why waste money and endanger someone’s life or health by using fireworks? One small firework can cause a chain of problems. Depending on where it is thrown or used, fireworks can start fires damaging properties and people. Fireworks do not only cause fire, but it increases health risks as well. People with breathing or heath conditions will have a much harder time breathing because of the smoke. You wouldn’t want to start off the new year with deaths or numerous hospitals because of a firework, right?

PRO (the side I am on and I agree on): Fireworks is a century of family, spiritual, and cultural tradition. What better way is there to bring in the New Year than pop fireworks, which is believed by many to bring in the good luck and bring out the bad? Taking away fireworks is like taking away a lifetime of traditions and beliefs that hold dearly to many people. You shouldn’t blame and take away the fireworks but you should blame the people who misuse them. Yes, it does cause health risks and safety hazards but instead of banning this beautiful tradition why don’t we observe and keep a better eye on it like the way it is used, managed, and bought? We can issue permits for it, like we already are! We can make age limits on certain fireworks for example: People under 10 cannot hold fireworks without parental supervision. We should be stricter on when it is the right time to pop fireworks. We can also propose something on where fireworks are allowed to be popped.
This long time tradition shouldn’t be put out of its entertaining fires. If we manage fireworks properly then there would be such numerous complaints, accidents and deaths. There are many ways to prevent fireworks from increasing fireworks.

Reflection on my portfolio

2009-12-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

I feel that I did an excellent job on my portfolio. My theme was a "SHOW" and I feel that I did a great job describing it through my media skills by using pictures which some were made by photoshop. My evidence of my learning as well really did match my theme I was going for for my portfolio. In conclusion, I feel that I could have done better last qaurter but I feel that I can redeem myself for this time's report card and for next year!:]

angry letter DRAFT

2009-12-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

1847 Makuahine Place
Honolulu, Hawaii, 96817
December 1, 2009
Honolulu Police Department801 South Beretania StreetHonolulu, HI 96813
Dear Head Chief Police of Hawaii,

The police of Hawaii has done a pretty great job in protecting the lives’ of people and our Hawaii. I have seen it when they direct traffic and on the news when they have helped turn in criminals and save people’s lives.
However I was very disappointed when a team of police came to Best buy, Kalihi on November 27, 2009 around 3:00 am.

This was my second time camping out at Best Buy Kalihi and I thought it was going to be a peaceful and good one just like last year. Just my luck; It was pouring rain, it was really cold and the line was really long. The usual long line was backed up all the way to the U-Haul company parking lot which is located on the far right of Best Buy. I remember a lady from the U-Haul company complained and yelled to us customers that we were trespassing. About 15 minutes later a cop came and yelled at us in the meanest way to get off U-Haul company property or he will fine us $100. I was alarmed by the cop’s attitude and the result he caused because of it. After the cop yelled at us the 200 people after us in the line ran through the front and cut in front of people like my family and I. People started yelling and fighting and the line wasn’t organized anymore. People were getting mad and it almost felt as if a riot were about to happen. More cops came and fed off the same attitude towards us. They all yelled and gave us attitude and told us to move. The line was getting worst and more people started to grumble.

I watched just like the others, a brave local/Japanese-Hawaiian looking man go up to the cops to talk to them. I was right in front of the conversation; This brave man asked these cops nicely to help them fix the lines and commotion that they started. I remember a tall, Caucasian police man yelling at the Best Buy customer in the rudest way “NO!, Were cops we only deal with criminal! Were not here to regulate and fix lines!!! That is not our job were criminal not lines!” I was alarmed by the way he spoke to a man that spoke to him nicely and calm. 10 minutes later the brave, local man goes up to the same cop and a group of new ones to ask politely again. This time A tall, buff, African American cop goes up to the man and for a moment I felt afraid for his life. The cop went up to him as if he were going to hurt him and I was really scared for him. This cop yelled at the man as well as if this man were stupid and deaf. Eventually the brave man fixed the problem himself and the 200 people that cut in front of the line went back to the back in the line. The commotion, fighting, and grumbles have stopped but without the police men’ help.

I was shocked and disappointed at these police men’s behavior. They have caused a problem and didn’t even bother to fix it. They were being rude, ignorant and mean towards the customers of Best Buy and I feel that it is unacceptable. Cops are here to help problems! This was a big problem at Best Buy which they caused and didn’t bother to fix. A riot or a death could’ve happened but these cops didn’t bother to help.

I know and hope that not all policemen aren’t as ignorant and disrespectful but these cop’s behavior were unacceptable.

Sincerely,

Cynthia Cuestas

Journal 18# what pisses me off?

2009-11-30T14:59:00.000-08:00

i thought I was going to have a fun time camping out at Best Buy Kalihi for black friday. But NO! I was tired, it was cold and it was raining cats and dogs! There was a long line but still I was glad that there about 200 people after me. Things were okay until a lady at the U-haul company complained that us campers were blocking the parking way. She called the cops on us and the cops made everything worst! Because of them the lines were messy and there was a huge commotion!! The cops were ignorant and didn't care about the situation! What pisses me off? ignorant COPS!

DRAFT

2009-11-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

The government and law has tried to put an end to abuse in relaitonships. Domestic violence restraining orders can help put a temporary end to abuse. But at times these TROS can't always help domestic problems.

Domestic violence restraining orders (DRVAS) are just like temporary restraining orders (TROS). DRVAS are issued to the abusers which state that they cannot be at a certain distance from and cannot talk to person who issued the restraining order. If these laws on the DVRA are broken the abusers face criminal charges such as: fines, or a minimum days in jail. If these laws are broken again the abuser faces harsher penalties depending on the state/county. These restraining orders are only temporary and do not last long.

DVRAS can help put an end to abuse in relationships. But DVRAS aren't as effective as the government and police say it is. Remember restraining orders are just laws written on paper. Just because the abuser has a restraining order agains them doesnt mean they wont stop seeing, threatening, or abusing there ex partners. It also doesn't mean that the person who filed the restraining order will follow the restraining order as well.

Just because a piece of paper states that the abuser should be away from the abused doesnt mean they will follow it. The abusers will still abuse or assault them. Stalking is common from thats done in abusive relationships. Department of Justice reports that 76% of women who were murdered are stalked proior to their deaths. An incident in Hawaii, happened when a man broke the laws of an restraining order which was filed by his ex girlfriend. This man broke the restraining order 3 times and assaulted her. The third time he broke the restraining order she was found dead.

DVRAS are not only temporary but they are poorly issued and monitiored. Restraiing orders should be at doubt when it comes to securing and saving people's lives. Restraining orders should have much stronger rules and regulations. DVRAS offer no protection in the long run since it is temporary. Statistics say that the risk of harm actually incresases than decreasing. The consenquences of violating the restraining order are minor as well. If the offender violates th restraining order, the offencer might be sentenced for a minimum days in jail with a criminal record.

Restraining orders agaisnt abusive relationships shpould be reinforced and regulated better. Increasing abuse and death still happens because of poor monitoring and issuing of restraining orders. Restraining orders should be much stronger than rules written on paper!!

Journal #15 THESIS!

2009-11-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

THESIS:
The government and law has tried to put an end to abuse in relationships. Domestic violence restraining orders or TROs can help put a temporary stop to abuse but sometimes these TROs can't always solve domestic problems.

Journal #10: College Application Essay

2009-09-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

University of Toronto: Why I would like to pursue a major in the medical field

FYI: ITS JUST A DRAFT!!:DD IT WILL BE BETTER!!!

"Could you hold her leg up?" The doctor asked me impaitenly with a worried look on her face. But shes only 14, no I don't want her to see this" my sister says lying hopelessly on the delivery bed. I nervously held up my sister leg to the side of the bed. I just couldn't believe what I was doing and what I just saw. "1, 2, 3, 4 PUSH!"the doctor yells while my sister pulls off a big struggle to do it. I couldn't take it; My face is turning white, my hands are sweaty and I felt if I were about to puke. I let go of my sister's leg and passed out on the couch which was on the side of the bed. I can't believe I was in the process of helping my sister give birth. This event and the following others will be the main reason why I feel so passionate about the medical field.

It is now 3:00 am in the morning at Tripler hospital. I'm awaking from the knock out I had about 30 minutes ago from helping my sister give birth. As I awake I am amazed about what I see. There is not only 1 doctor in the room but 13 other different medical personals in the small delivery room. Midwives, doctors, surgeons, and nurses were all there to help my sister give birth. I was heartbrokened by the fact that my sister was having a hard time giving birth but I was so amzed about how passionate these doctors were to help my sister. After a C section my sister finally gave birth to beautiful baby girl. Instead of a normal 2 day stay my sister would have to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks to heal from the c section and fever she had gotten because of it.

"2 weeks at the hospital?, Ohh what a way to spend my summer. Locked up in a hospital" I kept saying to myself. But from the hesistant attitiude I had before, I actually enjoyed being in the hospital. My life at the hospital came out to be a custom routine. I remember how the nurses would come in to check vitals every other hour, how doctors would come in once every day to check on my sister. I remember having to wake up every other hour at night watching nurses help my sister with her medication, checking her IV and giving her shots. I felt like I learned a lot of educational and important lessons to life when watching these medical people everyday. I have seen how hard these people worked during late hour shifts and I give them a lot of props for that. Whenever my brother- in-law and I had a break from my sister he showed me around the hospital. My brother is a medic in the army so he is usually given orders to work at Tripler or Schofield. I have seen a different side of the hospital doors. Not the light pink and blue ones where babies lay but a different type of side where you see sickly, ill, and injured people. I was lucky enough to see open doors of sick paitents getting helped from nurses and people waiting to get checked in the hospital.

Finally my stay at the hospital had come to an end. I felt really sad about it, I really like life at the hospital. Even though there are many sad parts to it, it really did feel like I belonged there. My stay at the hospital has given me the strongest reason why I would like to work in the medical field. I have seen so many dedicated people work hard everyday to make sure people are okay. People in the medical field dedicate their lives to help and assure people's lives. I would also like to be one of those people; Strong, smart, and dedicated medical personals.

journal #8 Ophelia Speaks

2009-09-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

My novel that I am reading is called Ophelia Speaks. This book TOTALLY relates to the coming of age process. Ophelia Speaks mainly points out to girls through the age of 12-18. Ophelia Speaks talks about many categories girls struggle and go through today such as: Eating disorders, sex, peer pressure, family, school, and friends. Each of these categories have different stories from teenage girls that have submitted their story. This novel talks about how hard it is to grow up when you are a girl and the struggles and pressure you face.

Journal #8: College Plans

2009-09-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

Since we been talking a lot about college and were about to write a college essay for one of our big projects for english I thought a lot about what I would like to do as I get older. I would like to major in the medical field and in hopes of becoming a nurse and a doctor. Mrs. Mau said that it would take a lot of work but I feel that this is what I want to do and it really feels like my passion. I would like to pursue this major in a school in Hawaii or hopefully Canada. I hear that HPU has a really good nursing program. But I would also would like to go to Canada for schooling because I love the scenery and life there and they also have a lot of successful people their that are in the medical field.

http://www.utoronto.ca/

http://www.hpu.edu/

My coming of age poster

2009-09-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

For my coming of age poster I decided to have a check list, things to do list kinda theme. I wanted this type of theme because I felt that my coming of age process is somewhat like a checklist, I always have my life planned out in an organize way. Instead of having a check box surrounding my picture I used a clipboard and I overlaped a folderpaper on it and a g-2 pilot pen to make like I was writting down my priorities and futures. On the clipboard/folder paper is a collauge of pictures that relate to my coming of age process.

COMING OF AGE DRAFT: My life, my plans

2009-08-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

I decided for my coming of age poster to have a theme; A checklist, planner, things to do type of look. You see, thats how my coming of age process is; orginization and planning. In my poster I specify in 3 things: Priorities, passions, dreams, and looks. They all relate to my coming of age process because now i know what my priorities are, I have different dreams and passions, and I want a different look that may be a rebellious type to my parents but they all show my coming of age process.

VENTING.

2009-08-26T22:31:00.001-07:00

I hate this, i hate this, i hate this.
its been 8 months, 8 months of hardwork, screw ups, and heartbreak.
I know I screwed up last week, but did you ever think ABOUT HOW THE WAY I FELT FOR ONCE? What I did last week doesn't compare to all the things and hurt you put me through. Why is it always my fault? Why is it "you don't care cynthia" "shut up" "whatever" "i dont care" "you always ruin everything" "stop thinking about yourself" but when I try to leave you always chase after me telling me your sorry and you won't be like that anymore but thats just a bunch of lies. cause you change when i'm leaving but your still the same when I take you back. I always try to be the BEST for you. I give all my time and energy for YOU. I don't go out with my friends, i'm stuck at home where you want me, i'm always there in a sec when you need me, I always tell you where I am, what i'm doing. But what you do to me in return? You yell at me, give me attitude, fool around and make like its nothing, yell at me in public places, embarass me, and make like i'm the worst person in the world. What am I doing so wrong? I'm trying really hard, I really am. BUT THEN AGAIN....... when i'm so fed up and tired I come back because I see this other side of you, a side my friends don't see, that my family thinks you would never have. I see this sweet and touching side of you. How you protect me, the way you hold my hand while you drive, and how you look into my eyes and hold my chin while were in traffic. The guy that would take my side, wouldn't care about what people say. How we hold hands together at school while people look at us, give us that look and we both know what there thinking. "Why are they still together?" Everyones always talking about us but were both alike in many ways. Were both fighting to be together from other people. who gives about the age difference were mean't for eachother so why can't you make this easier for us? Were already going through so much, just give me a break for once. You don't have to be perfect just take my feelings into consideration because your not the only one in this relationship"/ damnn its bittersweet, bittersweet.

Coming of Age Essay Draft: "Survive this"

2009-08-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

I remember waking up on a cold september morning. My face was sticky from the tears I shed last night, I could hear the song "survive this" by shiny delacruz that was on repeat on my ipod, and my hair was such a tangle of mess. Checking my phone, there was not a single call or text from him. I threw my phone on the ground, hearing the piece cover and battery flying at different directions. I move my body to the side of my other pillow. My arms are holding the pillow tightly to my chest and I think about how i'll never have those "morning my sunshine" text messages and calls anymore. This was really it, it was really over between us. I never felt so hurt and broken in my life because of0. a guy. He was the first guy; the first guy I fell for, the first guy i said those 3 words too, and the first guy to ever break my heart. I wasn't prepared for this feeling at all. Who would be prepared when it came to your first breakup? I didn't want to move at all. All I did was lay on my bed, stare straight at the ceiling and feel the trail of tears crawl down to my neck.

He was one of those dreams that you wish would come true but would never happen; like winning the million dollar lottery or a kid in a candy store kind of dream. He has nice brown eyes, tall, clean shaven, the most seductive smile and he had a passion for basketball and dance. Besides the physique of this guy, he had brains, top in his class and had this great, upbeat personality. PERFECT, isn't he? I thought guys like him were impossible but my mind changed till I actually had him. He made me feel great about myself. He gave me a lot of support, showed that he truly cared and he never did pass by a moment that would make me smile or laugh. I know, a freshmen in highschool saying "i love you" but I really did mean it. You see, I have this different kind of definition of love. Having a good friendship, to truly care for someone, and to have this kind of connection you can't explain is my kind of LOVE. Saying I love you is a big coming of age process because this kind of love wasn't a parent/friend kind of love. Its love on bigger scale, someone of the oppostie sex, someone other than your dad or brother.

I feel that relationships and love is a big coming of age process. To be in relationships and to be in love you need to be emotionally/mentally ready, mature enough, and able to manage when the good and bad start to kick in. My first boyfriend and my first break up I was not ready AT ALL. But that just shows the coming of age process. I started off in my first relationship, not ready, not mature enough and definitely not prepared for the good and bad. I was caught up in how great it was to be in a relationship not knowing the worst was going to happen. The aftermath of the breakup was SUPER HARD. I cried 3 weeks straight and I did a lot of moping and wallowing around. But I knew I had to make things better for myself. I ran the block a lot because it felt refreshing to sweat off the pain and anger. I tried to eat healthier and made myself more occupied so I wouldn't think about what had happened. 2 months passed and my heart was finally healed but also changed in a way. I finally know how it feels to be in love and how if felt to have a break up. But now i'm more prepared and the next time i'm in a relationship and I say those 3 words I can take better care for myself and my feelings.

First blog for school: Writing and goals[;

2009-08-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have to say that starting off as a freshmen at Moanalua highschool my writing was quite BLUNT, BORING, AND PREDICTABLE. All I did was write what was needed to be written. But I never thought that the my "okay grades" and my writings didn't intrest people was because my pieces were sooo BORING. Now I understand what catches people's attentions and what helps me become a better writer. My writing has improved a lot. My writings have much better VOCABULARY. I actually improved a lot in my vocab, I use much bigger WORDS NOW!^___^ OHH and my writings are much more fun and interesting to read!

My writing goals:
TO EXCEL IN MY WRITING
To improve in VOICE
Make my writing good enough for me to write in the school newspaper