VENTING.

I hate this, i hate this, i hate this.
its been 8 months, 8 months of hardwork, screw ups, and heartbreak.
I know I screwed up last week, but did you ever think ABOUT HOW THE WAY I FELT FOR ONCE? What I did last week doesn't compare to all the things and hurt you put me through. Why is it always my fault? Why is it "you don't care cynthia" "shut up" "whatever" "i dont care" "you always ruin everything" "stop thinking about yourself" but when I try to leave you always chase after me telling me your sorry and you won't be like that anymore but thats just a bunch of lies. cause you change when i'm leaving but your still the same when I take you back. I always try to be the BEST for you. I give all my time and energy for YOU. I don't go out with my friends, i'm stuck at home where you want me, i'm always there in a sec when you need me, I always tell you where I am, what i'm doing. But what you do to me in return? You yell at me, give me attitude, fool around and make like its nothing, yell at me in public places, embarass me, and make like i'm the worst person in the world. What am I doing so wrong? I'm trying really hard, I really am. BUT THEN AGAIN....... when i'm so fed up and tired I come back because I see this other side of you, a side my friends don't see, that my family thinks you would never have. I see this sweet and touching side of you. How you protect me, the way you hold my hand while you drive, and how you look into my eyes and hold my chin while were in traffic. The guy that would take my side, wouldn't care about what people say. How we hold hands together at school while people look at us, give us that look and we both know what there thinking. "Why are they still together?" Everyones always talking about us but were both alike in many ways. Were both fighting to be together from other people. who gives about the age difference were mean't for eachother so why can't you make this easier for us? Were already going through so much, just give me a break for once. You don't have to be perfect just take my feelings into consideration because your not the only one in this relationship"/ damnn its bittersweet, bittersweet.